Wednesday, 9 January 2008

Guy N. Smith Book Review - Entombed

Simon Rankin's life sucks. A former Jesuit priest, a botched exorcism has shaken his faith. His ex-wife is a spectacular megabitch who is withholding his kids and using the family courts to siphon every penny from his pockets. In order to make a fresh start, he heads off to a small, unpronouncable village in Wales. Bad move, Simon, and not just because it's Wales. As every Smith fan knows, the Welsh countryside is teeming with Satanists, giant crabs, killer frogs and, in this case, haunted slate mines.

A local entrepreneur has reopened an abandoned slate mine as a tourist attraction. It is quite successful, but Simon can sense a malevolent force brewing in the depths of the mine. The mine is closed when a teenager goes missing, and others are soon to follow. His faith renewed, Simon, with the help of his new girlfriend Andrea, sets out to destroy the evil in the mine once and for all.

This one is actually very good (by the standards of Guy N. Smith, of course) and probably my favourite so far. An abandoned mine haunted by Victorian-Era child labourers is a pretty creepy concept. There are some good scenes of people groping blindly in the dark as ghosts taunt and beckon them. There's also a group (coven?) of local Satanists who are a pretty hilarious bunch, although the image of moonlit middle-aged orgies will probably be burned into my brain for some time.

There's also a hilarious scene where the priest's girlfriend is required to stay in a protective pentagram, lest she be accosted by demonic forces. Of course, her mind wanders and she starts to masturbate (who wouldn't in that situation?) and in the process breaks the boundary of the pentagram. Of course, a horny demon shows up and despite her attempts at playing hard-to-get ("I... couldn't hold out... any longer. I need... it. Badly!") he gets the leg over pretty easily. But then, it wouldn't be a Guy N Smith novel without a bizarre, poorly-written sex scene, would it?

I'd definitely recommend this one.

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